“I don’t want to die. I just don’t know how to keep living like this.”

When suicidal thoughts visit, what’s needed isn’t fixing — it’s being felt.

Content Warning: This post talks about suicide and suicidal ideation. If that feels tender or overwhelming today, please take care and return to it when you feel ready.

As a therapist, I’ve heard this sentence — or something like it — many times:

“I don’t want to die. I just want the pain to stop.”

Not everyone who comes to therapy talks about suicide in the first session. Often, it starts as exhaustion. Overwhelm. “I’m tired all the time.” “I don’t feel like myself.” Sometimes they say, “I’m scared of my thoughts.”And sometimes, they don’t say anything at all — just show up and cry.

I work with people who feel deeply. Who’ve carried too much for too long. Who’ve grown up hearing that sadness is a sign of weakness or that wanting to give up means they’re not trying hard enough.

Many of my clients have never had a safe space to say:

“I feel like disappearing.”

“I feel like a burden.”

“I feel like nothing I do is ever enough.”

They whisper it. Tentatively. Carefully. As if they’re testing whether I’ll flinch or freeze.I don’t. Because I understand what they’re really saying:

“Can you sit with me in this? Can you hold it with me, so I’m not holding it alone?”

Suicide is not always about death. It’s about pain.

Suicidal thoughts are not attention-seeking. They are pain-seeking relief. And relief doesn’t always come in the form of answers. Sometimes it comes in being seen. Being understood. Being told, “You make sense.”

In India, we still don’t know how to talk about suicide. There’s too much shame. Too much stigma. Too many "just be positive" responses. Too little training for professionals, let alone families. Too little resourcing.

But here’s what I’ve learned in my work as a suicide prevention trainer and therapist:

Talking about suicide does not plant the idea in someone’s head. Not talking about it makes people feel even more alone.

If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide...

I want you to know: You are not “too much.” You are not weak. You’re someone who has likely endured more than people know. And it makes complete sense if that’s taken a toll.

There is no shame in needing help. No shame in saying,

“I’m not okay, but I want to find my way back.”

Therapy with me is a space where nothing is too heavy to bring in. We won’t rush to fix. We’ll slow down, and learn how to be with what’s hard. Together, we’ll explore what safety looks like — inside your body, your mind, your relationships.

And if you’re not ready for therapy yet, that’s okay too. You still deserve to stay alive. You still deserve care.

And if you’re someone who loves someone who is struggling...

Please know: You don’t have to say the perfect thing. You just have to stay. You don’t have to offer hope right away. You just have to offer presence. Sitting beside someone in their darkest hour is not easy. But it’s how we make staying possible.

Suicide prevention is not just crisis work. It’s connection work.

It’s learning to notice when someone has gone quiet. It’s asking how someone really is. It’s building a culture where people feel safe breaking down — not just when they’re better.

If you’re looking for a therapist who will meet you where you are — even in the mess, even in the dark — you are welcome here. With all your fears, all your questions, all your not-sure-yet’s.

Because I believe healing begins with being deeply seen.

You don’t have to want life to stay alive.

But I’ll hold hope for you, until you can hold it again for yourself.

And if you would like to be better equipped to offer support to people in your life, join our Suicide Prevention Trainings at Swayam Foundation